One of my favorite movies is Interstellar. It’s a great story all the way through, even though it leaves you on a bit of a cliff hanger. It’s a story about a man fulfilling his purpose as a pilot of a spaceship  and in fulfilling his purpose, he enables his children to find and fulfill theirs. That’s the movie in a nutshell. Where I love the imagery, the characters, the director, and the attention to the science in this film,  I kind of want to focus on the story’s main villain, the intrepid exploratory voyage leader Dr. Mann.

“He’s the best of us”, one of the characters says of Dr. Mann. He convinces a team to leave everything behind and travel through a wormhole to try to save the human race. His is a man of such character and bravado that a team of men and women are willing to abandon everything they have on earth to follow him on this journey.  Dr. Mann and his team are each sent to a different planet and told to relay a signal back once they find one that humans can inhabit. Dr. Mann, the best of us, doesn’t find a habitable planet, but sends his signal anyways. He’s afraid of dying alone. 

Through a digital  deception, he lures the second team through the wormhole to his location. Their belief in Dr. Mann as the best of them gives the second  team confidence in Dr. Mann’s report and they are willing to abandon all other rationales, including love, to pursue him to his planet. So they do. They ignore the draw of love to follow a man of character. 

This second team finds Dr. Mann in hyper-sleep. They rouse him and begin to enquire about his planet. He spins a yarn about the beauty of his planet hidden beneath the vast sheets of ice. They are deceived by his story and bring all the aid he needs to start the process of colonization. Once the team is occupied with the task of settling this uninhabitable planet, he sabotages them, steals their ship and tries to strand the survivors on the planet, only saving himself. 

This is Betrayal.

He just about destroys the whole mission in his efforts to save himself. Dr. Mann pilots the ship to the awaiting main spaceship in orbit around his planet. While trying to dock with the main ship of this excursion, he doesn’t mate the ships properly and overrides the safeties on the airlock to open it. This is his fatal mistake.  His ship is destroyed and he is flung out into space, ending the saga of Dr. Mann.

This feels like justice.

This is an example of betrayal and a violent brand of justice that is a little extreme. So let’s make it a little more personal. Think about a relationship you treasure. Not Jesus, because then the analogy won’t work. Think of somebody else. Consider what it would be like if this person that you treasure would decide to share intimate information about you with your enemy. Consider also, if that person would give away this intimate information of yours to your enemy explicitly intending to harm you. Reasons don’t matter at this point, right? If you’ve done the exercise, there’s a good chance that you’re feeling some uncomfortable emotions. Now, consider that the Holy Spirit has asked you to befriend them, and pour  your heart out for them, anyways with the upfront knowledge that they would wound you deeply.  

I think the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been in a situation was one that I experienced recently where I understood that betrayal was the probable outcome, but that the Holy Spirit wanted me to stay in the relationship. It’s a friendship not my marriage. Through prayer and some introspection, I felt like I had received an invitation from the Holy Spirit. The invitation was to cultivate this friendship and allow betrayal to happen if it will, but to keep the value for this other person in my heart. I don’t think anyone would be excited about that possibility. What I understand now though, that I didn’t used to understand, is that if the Holy Spirit invited me into that moment, it’s foolish to say no to that invitation. Also, in hindsight and full transparency, I could’ve done better with this opportunity. 

Think about this for context, after Jesus was baptized and received the Holy Spirit, He was immediately led into the wilderness for a 40 day fast and temptation by the devil at the weakest His  body probably ever was except for the garden and crucifixion. The invitation to trouble was intended to produce a result in the invitee. What scripture records about the outcome of Jesus’ trial in the wilderness is in Luke 4:14

Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit and news about Him spread through the whole countryside.

Luke 4:14 (NIV)

I’m not saying that these are equal moments, but it’s an example of the Holy Spirit’s invitation into trouble. As a matter of opinion I believe the Holy Spirit doesn’t look at trouble the way we do. The best way I know how to describe it is that you can’t have miracles without the need. The need gives the opportunity for miracles to be seen. It’s the same way with the Holy Spirit’s invitation. There is a need, and He is inviting you into a place where it can be met or resolved. Invitation by the Holy Spirit is meant for a specific, good outcome in my life. So if the invitation is to stay in a relationship, despite the threat of probable betrayal, what is the intended outcome? And more specifically to my soul, why betrayal? 

What makes the subject of betrayal interesting is a passage in Revelation that doesn’t make any sense to what I would call a normal, rational, mentality. You have a beautiful picture being painted through John’s revelation about a city. The whole description is beautiful, but there’s one verse that is interesting to me. Here’s the verse:

The wall of the city had twelve foundations, and on them were the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

Rev. 21:14 NIV

It’s a strange verse to me and stands out because of one question: Which apostles? Is it possible that when the city descends from Heaven that there’s a foundation for a wall around the new Jerusalem named Judas Iscariot? What if there’s a pillar named Judas? Also, why would there be a Pillar named Judas?  The idea of this is super offensive! 

Think about it. This is the guy that betrayed Jesus and committed suicide. This is the guy who sold out his relationship with the Kinsman Redeemer for 30 pieces of silver! How in the world could this guy end up on a pillar? If there was a royal dung heap, maybe his name should be put there, but not on the pillar supporting the foundation of a beautiful kingdom! 

I’m an Alabama Football fan. There was a time when we were rumored to be hiring the ever controversial Lane Kiffin as an offensive coordinator. He was going through a storm that he created with leaving his post at the University of Tennessee as head coach. The only reason any of that is relevant to this story, is that as Alabama eyed hiring him, a certain meme became very prevalent in my Facebook timeline. The meme showed a poop treatment plant in Tennessee having been renamed after him! Tennessee fans believed about Lane Kiffin the way I believed about Judas. His name was a name only fit for refuse.  

 I’ve chewed on this passage a good bit and prayed about it often. I’ve asked a few different pastors this question and their sentiment seems to echo what Peter says about Judas in Acts. 

“For,” said Peter, “it is written in the Book of Psalms: ‘May his place be deserted; let there be no one to dwell  in it,’ and ‘ May another take his place of leadership’.”

Acts 1:20 NIV

The first part of Peter’s quote is from Psalms 69:25. With the way he is using it here, from the context and the statement he makes, I get the impression that he would rope Psalms 69:28.

May they be blotted out of the book of life and not be listed with the righteous.

Psalms 69:28 NIV

The pastors I’ve spoken to about this seem to believe it would be Matthias’ name on that pillar.  Once again, this is a natural reaction to betrayal. This is a rational reaction to betrayal. When I think about the aforementioned situation that we imagined, this is the type of reaction that I think I would want to take. I would remove you from my inner circle, ostracize you from my life, and make it nigh impossible for you to hurt me in this fashion again. Self preservation and insulation from any threat. I’m emotionally comfortable here and I don’t believe that this reaction is out of scope for most people, unless they like the drama that it causes and are bound to the damaging relationship through some form of co-dependency. 

The question still remains though, could there be a pillar underneath New Jerusalem named for Judas, the betrayer. Short answer is no. I don’t think that Jesus would put “Judas Iscariot, the Betrayer” on a pillar. I do however believe that Jesus would put “Judas Iscariot, the Apostle” on a pillar. Let me explain how I came to this conclusion. 

After reading this passage and my conversations about it, I got confused and a little upset by the possibility this could be the case. I think the possibility of this would be troubling for most people, but only because of the need to be protected from betrayal. If you’ve been betrayed you know what I’m talking about. There’s a need birthed in you through betrayal to insulate yourself from the pain that comes with it. You ache. It’s not even a physical ache either. You just hurt and there seems to be no salve for it. I think anyone who’s ever been in a failed dating relationship knows exactly what I mean. 

I can recall a time when I was a teenager and thought that I had found the love of my life. I won’t give her name, but she was my first girlfriend and I was head over heels! We talked every night and there wasn’t a whole lot I wouldn’t do for her. Except kissing. I had made a pact with myself that the first girl I kissed would be my wife. So I refrained from a lot of PDA. I was still madly in love with her though. One day, she ended things. It was fairly unceremonious. She just said she didn’t want to date anymore. I was devastated. I remember not being able to let it go. I even started working out so that I could make her jealous. One day, I even asked her to meet with me so that I could explain to her all the reasons she should still be together with me. Yeesh… All the high school drama. Typing this stuff is making me cringe. 

Long story shorter, she eventually began to hang out with my best friend. It felt like they were dating. That hurt the worst. When that happened, I found myself wounded and betrayed in a deeper way than I ever wanted to experience. Now, I’m well aware that I was reacting to the optics of the situation, but there’s still no way that you are convincing 16 year old Brett that his best friend and his ex were just “hanging out” two or three times a week, platonically. There’s a lot of emotions that go with a break up, and there’s a lot of emotions that go with a betrayal. To experience them both in such a short amount of time is brutal for anyone, let alone a 16 year old in his first real relationship. Let’s make a list of the emotions really fast:

• Anger
• Sadness
• Frustration
• Loneliness
• Fear
• Inferiority

I confronted my friend about their time together. Because I was angry and hurt, I severed our relationship. I didn’t do it verbally or in any kind of official way that I can recall, but I did remove him from his place in my life. This guy had been my friend for 8 years at the time this happened. Just like that, he wasn’t anymore. This is what I think of when I think of betrayal, and my reaction to him feels like a rational and normal reaction. Someone who would betray me, does not belong in my inner circle, my outer circle, or the rest of my social universe. 

 I want to take a minute and acknowledge that the last statement felt a bit dramatic and ridiculous. I’ve got to be completely honest here, everything else I’ve typed for this post has too. It’s all true for the moment I experienced it and completely honest, but feels ridiculous to write, especially the lead in for this story. I know there are people who find their love in high school and live happily ever after. I’m all for that and I love those stories. It’s just not mine, and it’s a little embarrassing looking back and seeing the certainty I had over this. This story is a little bit vulnerable for me to tell. In fact, I don’t think there are 10-15 people I’ve told this story to, and I’m putting it in print! This is a scary level of intimacy (Into me you see) to share with some of you that I don’t know at all and may never meet!

When I take into consideration what betrayal means to me over such, in the grand scheme, a menial thing, and then I consider the circumstances around Jesus’ betrayal, I’m even more astounded at the possibility of a Judas pillar. Judas’ betrayal led to Jesus laying down His life. It was in the midst of these thoughts about the gravity of Judas’ actions and the realities of what betrayal has meant in my own life that I began to seek the Holy Spirit for some sort of understanding around this verse and ultimately His stance on betrayal. 

I was musing over this one day as I was pondering my invitation coupled with the curiosity about this verses insinuation and decided I needed help. I broached the question to the Holy Spirit, “How could you put Judas’ name on a pillar?” Felt like a totally rational and reasonable question. How could you consider this? The Holy Spirit’s answers  never disappoint. He always gets right to the heart of every issue. He didn’t delay with His answer and what He said shook me. 

“Because Jesus doesn’t lose value for people after betrayal. You do.”

I do…

I know I do. I have just relayed examples of me doing it and I have felt justified every time. And while it’s true that I do lose value for people in the personal sense of the word “you”, I also believe this is true in the community sense of the word. We lose value for people after they betray us. It’s rational and understandable. I believe it’s what we’ve been taught either implicitly or explicitly through relationships and teachings throughout the years. I think this is a great example of worldly wisdom that has crept into the church’s way of doing life. 

What I’m doing now is something I’ve wrestled with while writing. I feel like this post is getting to an unreadable length and I want to pause and come back to this again, but I’d like to ask you to think about this for a moment and I want to stress that there’s no condemnation in this. So, please take a few moments and do some introspection about these next few questions:

• How common do you think this is? 
• Do you see it as a problem? 
• Why or why not?
• How does your answer feel?
• What emotions does this conversation evoke in you?

Next, take your answers to prayer. Ugly prayer. Be real and honest with Jesus about why you feel the way you feel. Bring every justification and reason to Him. See what He says. In Part 2, I’ll share with you what my experience with this answer has been. 

Love you guys, God bless!